I have always said that the only thing I want in life is to be a mom. Thats all! I'm not asking for the world...or am I? Is that why? Is it to much for me to ask to be a mom? I won't even be greedy...just give me one baby love and live my life for. JUST ONE!
I did everything the "right" way. I graduated highschool. I went to college (took a year off ) and graduated with a bachelors degree. I found an amazing man who can look beyond my imperfections and love me for who I am unconditionally. And yet here are kids out there having baby after baby by a different guy each time and I cant make my husband a daddy!! Why?! I get that I'm broken but damnit give me at least an ounce of a chance to make that dream come true!!
Before I got pregnant before "hope" and I were not on good terms. Now I really think that we will never be friends again. I just can't seem to let hope around. It hurts way more if I do. I wasn't (or haven't been) since we have been nt/np. I'm really at a bad place emotionally.. As much as I thought I was doing better.. I guess I was wrong!
posted from Bloggeroid
Prayers for you Ash. I know how it feels to think through all the emotions and thoughts you speak of. Pregnancy happened once, it can happen again. I am so sorry you are having a rough time. Even though you dont get it, try to lean on God...anger and everything just let it all out to him. He can take it, and maybe you will feel up to facing hope once more. <3
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