So last friday I went for my final beta test to make sure my levels were going down the way they should. (Yes, still after 2 months the Dr is still testing them!) Finally heard back from the nurse yesterday said that my levels went down to 10 since the last time (which was about 3 weeks ago; can't remember what they were but I know they were still high). She also said the Dr wanted to know what the plan was now and I had to tell her "nothing for about a month" (b/c of hubby being gone). She said "well I'll still tell you anyways that the next few months are the most fertile times for you". Well thanks! That helps A LOT with hubby being gone. But we talked about it last night and decided that we would just see how things go for the next 6 or 7 months before we start seeking clomid again or other matters. I'm really hoping that it will work without being a hormonal mess (b/c of the clomid).
Apart of me wonders, is it too soon to start again. I mean its only been 2 months (and 2 days) since we lost the baby. I really want to start but apart of me is scared to start again. What if it happens again? All these "what if's" go through my mind. I guess the only thing to do is just take one day at a time. I do have about a month or so before hubby comes home so there will be more discussions about this again. I just don't want this fear to control my dreams of becoming a mommy!
(hugs) hope the best happens for you guys. I had to take a break... and it helped a lot, I also know women who get right back at it because it helps them focus and gives them hope. Either way, whatever you choose will be what is best for YOU and your DH.
ReplyDeleteAsh, speaking from experience...the questions of "what if it happens again" will always be there. I was aching to start ttc after miscarriages, and I am now...but I understand the emotional toll it takes on a girl because I am there right now. Because besides money, feeling depressed is the one reason we haven't started diving deeper into TTC at the moment.
ReplyDeleteDo what your heart feels is right, if you feel you are able to go through a few more cycles of clomid right now...go for it! If you feel like you need more time to grieve or heal from your loss, then wait.
Prayers being sent your way! ♥
Also, are they testing your hcg til the levels are below five?
ReplyDeleteI completely understand all the "what if" questions. I've been there. I NEVER thought that we would be trying after 6 months... I thought it'd be more than a year. I was so scared (and still am!) but we feel like we're ready and that I'm never going to get over that fear. It's still going to be there for you guys as well. But you also can't rush it, it has to feel right between the 2 of you and I truly believe that you will know when you guys are ready. It's a big step but now that we're actively trying again, I am so excited about it that my fears have gone away a little bit. Good luck to you guys!
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